I made my way back downstairs and back into the kitchen. It was time
for my victory joint. I threw the bag of weed on the island in the center of the room, pulled a paper free, and got to work.
It was pretty sticky, but not to the point where I couldn’t roll it. I broke up enough weed to roll two joints. I figured
I’d smoke another after I killed again. I twisted both of the spliffs free-hand and lit one up immediately.
It tasted amazing. I couldn’t quite figure it out, but it tasted
a little like pine needles. However, as long as it got me high, it could’ve tasted like shit for all I cared.
I wandered around the kitchen while I smoked, opening drawers and
cupboards, looking for something. I hadn’t found a whole lot, but I enjoyed my own company, throwing out comments like,
“That wouldn’t work,” or “What do I look like, Martha Stewart?”
I went through the last drawer and still nothing. My joint was burning
out and I was out of ideas. Then, I saw it. Hidden in the corner, where the counter meets the fridge, was a block of wood
full of knives. I ran to it.
“I hope, I hope,” was all I could say.
I pulled out the one with the biggest handle and sure as shit, my
hoping had paid off. Shimmering in my eyes was a butcher’s knife worthy of Michael Myers himself.
“Yes!” I yelled followed by a sigh of exalting jubilation.
My joint burned my lips and made me realize how quick my joint had
turned into a roach. I cashed it on the lovely blue tile that lined the top of the kitchen’s island. I made sure I grabbed
the weed, rolling papers, and my spare pre-rolled. The roach was a non-issue because I didn’t have my one hitter on
I was just about to walk out the back door when I became conscious
of the fact that I hadn’t decided who I was going to off next. Well, five more to go…who’s closest?
Sashia. Good. I fucking hate that bitch! She was one of those girls
who worried about her looks over all else. The only problem is she weighs about two hundred pounds and dresses like a Barbie
doll. Ever see a walrus in a tube top? Trust me, you don’t want to.
Yeah, she’ll be an easy one. Plus, she’s only a couple
of blocks away. I was covered in blood so walking was out of the question. I started to wander back into the kitchen to brain
storm my situation, but had already decided what I was going to do…Dex’s car.
I went out to the garage, conveniently located through the kitchen.
Ahh, that beautiful cherry red Mustang. At least I didn’t have to worry about getting it dirty.
I hit the automatic garage door opener and hopped in the driver’s
seat. Key to ignition, pedal to the metal, and it still purred like a kitten. Good thing there was no one behind me when I
backed out, they might have died too.
I closed the garage door, threw it in drive, and headed for Pine Sap
Drive. It was only about five blocks away, but doing seventy miles an hour in a twenty five and having complete disregard
for the law got me there in about twenty seconds.
I passed her house first to make sure she was there, then I parked
at the other end of the street. Her car was in the driveway, but the lights were out. Way too easy.
Damn it! I forgot she lived with her parents. That might complicate
I started looking around Dex’s car. In the glove box I found
the baby diaper he used to wipe down his car. Perfect!
I snuck across the street and into Sashia’s driveway. I crept
between her and her parent’s cars and made my way to the front door. I tried the handle, unlocked.
The front door led right to the kitchen, Sashia’s room was straight
through and to the left. I shut the door and as I turned around something caught my attention. A meat cleaver was just sitting
on the counter next to the sink. I had to have it.
I put my butcher’s knife in my belt and reached over to grab
the meat cleaver. I stared at it for a minute, something about it was mesmerizing. It’s amazing how that Molly Ringwald
“slasher” really made me stop and appreciate how beautiful a cleaver can be.
Now, where was I…Oh yeah, first degree murder.
I slowly made my way down the hallway to Sashia’s room, this
is going to be good, I could feel it. I made it to her door with cleaver and diaper in hand. I held the diaper in my mouth
and reached for her door handle.
I pushed, the door swung silently open, I grabbed the diaper out of
my mouth, and invited myself inside. She was facing me on her bed, mouth wide open, snoring. I balled up the diaper in my
right hand and slinked to her beside.
I knelt beside her, switching the cleaver to my right hand and the
diaper to my left. I raised the cleaver in the air and then took a deep breath. I must have been breathing too loud because
she opened her eyes.
Luckily I was ready and I shoved the diaper in her mouth and caught
the side of her head with the cleaver. She processed what was going on and tried to let out a scream, but she was dead before
the lone tear in her eye could crawl down her cheek.
I left the cleaver in her head and rolled her onto her back. I pulled
the sheets back and the butcher’s knife out of my belt. A smile drifted across my face. I was just so happy she was
I used the butcher’s knife to carve BITCH in her forehead.
When I was done with that I stabbed her in the throat…and then the chest. That’s where the knife stayed and this
I stood up, took a deep breath, and let out a silent sigh.
“What can I say? Karma’s just like you…a bitch,”
I whispered as I walked out of her bedroom.
I wanted to smoke another joint, but since her parents were still
in the house I wanted to make my visit as brief as possible. I stumbled slightly as I power walked to the front door, but
I made it without waking anyone. Just as quickly as I had came, I was gone. Out the front door, across the street, and back
into Dex’s Mustang.
As soon as I started the car I lit up my other pre-rolled joint and
took off. Another down, only four more to go. Who’s next?